Too Embarrassed to Support Your Family?

I have a friend who has been working non-stop since her teenage years until now. She never had a high paying job, but she worked to support herself. She even helped her mom out occasionally and managed to live without credit card debt. Then she married a guy who had a decent job after college, but got layed off soon after. This isn’t something unusual these days and in the beginning as much as she and her husband panicked and we worried about them, we all thought he’d be able to find a job within a year.

That was 5 years ago. She’s been working throughout the whole marriage and he’s been “looking” the whole time. Part of the problem is that his parents send money to support them. Since he gets support and the money goes directly into his account, he doesn’t feel the real impact of him not working. Oh sure, his confidence went down and he avoids meeting people out of fear that people might ask what he does for living. But it’s still not enough for him to find anything and his parents continue to enable him.

I know it’s tough to get a job that you want and I’m not saying it’s entirely his fault. But he has a family. He should’ve found any job to support his family while looking for a long term job. I think another big problem is that he’s simply embarrassed to find a low paying job. He shouldn’t be embarrassed to work to support his family. He should be embarrassed to take his parents money to stay home and blame the world for his problems.

When you get layed off, obviously you should actively look for a new job. And depending on your financial situation, you should find a lower paying job if you have to. Even if only thing you could find is to flip burgers or deliver pizzas, that’s better than not doing anything. I think that’s nothing to be embarrassed about, but a noble thing to do for your family and for yourself. Don’t make this a permanent job though. You should be continuing to find a job that aligns with your career path and think of creative solutions to your unemployment problem.

Have you ever been layed off? What did you do to support your family before finding another “real” job? Any tip for people who got layed off from your personal experience?


9 thoughts on “Too Embarrassed to Support Your Family?

  1. What strikes me the most is the fact that he was able to spend 5 years at home not doing anything for a living. I get bored after one short week spent at home. Plus I’m always scared my brain cells are going to die if I don’t stimulate them enough, hehe! But then again, we are all different.

  2. The longer he’s out of a job the harder it will get to find one. How are you going to explain a 5 year gap? That’s a really long time. If he couldn’t find a job, I think he should have taken something that was “beneath him” and work his way up or learn a skill which will get him a better job.

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