I know this topic has been talked about by many bloggers before, but it came to my attention again last weekend. My hubby and I met up with my friend and her husband for dinner to celebrate her birthday. My friend’s husband mentioned during dinner how his father in law bought a practically new pair of shoes for their daughter. They both said the shoes still had the tag and looked new, but it was bought second hand from someone instead of a store. I was expecting him to say something like how it was a great deal, but instead he said he didn’t want his daughter to wear it. He doesn’t want her wearing anything second hand. He couldn’t say anything to the father in law and his daughter loves the new shoes, so he can’t do anything about it. But he did not appreciate that at all.
To be honest, he caught me off guard. I just said something like, I wouldn’t mind at all since it was a gift, it was pretty much new, and kids grow up so fast. I knew he’s stubborn and he wouldn’t change his mind, but at least my reasons had practical aspects of it. His reason for not liking anything second hand for his daughter is his pride and never mind the financial situation they’re in. He basically said as a father, he wants what’s best for his daughter and if he can’t buy nice new things for her, he’s not a worthy father. Of course, he had to add at the end about the fact that I’m not a parent and I wouldn’t understand until I become one. Yes, I’m not a parent, but I don’t think I’d change my mind about that even if I had a kid of my own. His value system and mine are very different. Amount of money spent, although it can mean something good, does not equal the amount of love I have for whoever the money is directed at. Money is important, but it is not the source for my pride and self-worth.
So this got me thinking. What’s your pride preventing you from doing? Not about not giving up Starbucks latte because you love it so much, but something that touches something more vulnerable within. Even though I say money is not the source of my pride, I do have things that I let my stupid pride get in the way of. For me, I have hard time asking for discount or special pricing because of my pride. I feel embarrassed to haggle and bargain. I know in my head it’s ok and it shouldn’t hurt my pride, but I can’t get the words out of my mouth.
Have you talked to other people about your pride tied to your money? Do people around you have a similar money philosophy?